Side note

My first blog was fucking beautiful. I don't think I've ever pin-pointed myself so accurately. Kudos, 2012 Ashleigh. You and your words rule! #self-inspiration

Long-lost

Wow... I mean, what is there to say really?

I have been on what you could call a "blogging-hiatus". A 4 year blogging-hiatus. The concept of blogging seems so foreign to me now, and yet I still get the same feeling even as I am typing these words. Like, although my audience may be limited, I feel like I'm making a difference (in my life, at least!).

So, I've grown up. Looking back on fifteenth avenue (a "place" close to my heart), the torment and tribulations of my teen angst has made me who I am today- and I regret none of it. I remember when I created this blog; looking for a name which summed me up to a tee. 

Cacology. 
I don't even know if it's a real word, but it feels like one. It means some kind of words- not necessarily the right words. And I like that... because I will never have the "right" words and I don't mind that. 

I've learned a lot. I've learned who I am as a person- that I am a lot stronger than I thought. I have discovered that there will always be people who try to bring you down and that true friends are genuinely happy for my successes. 

I have learned a new form of self-respect and I have proactively made the choice to say NO to the people I don't want in my life. I have learned to forgive but never forget. 

You know, because I'm perfect (ha ha. NOT)

But, I'm learning. And I am pleased with my progress.

Here's to another step in the right direction

Formerly, Fifteenth avenue

-A

teen-rager

So I've quickly complied a short list of things that I hate about people in general. It's actually really short and can be summed up really super quickly. 1. Don't be a bitch. Or at least don't be a bitch over stupid shit. It only causes unnecessary drama over something so stupid you'll end up forgetting why you even started whinging over it in the first place. 2. People without Passion/opinions. For fucks sake, give a shit arbout something and stop going with the flow if you're not enjoying it. Seriously. Have a say. Be passionate about something, give a fuck about anything!! Even if its giving a fuck about nothing, just do it wholeheartedly and say 'fuck you' to everyone. And mean it! I don't think I could ever be with someone who just chilled back and said 'whatever'. I definitely need someone I can argue with, not someone who is too lazy to give a shit. Fuck you. Open your eyes and realise that you don't have to be doing what everyone else is. I hate people. Do not want a relationship any time soon. Fuck everyone. Also, know when you've been friendzoned. There are typos in here that I can't fucking fix because I don't know how and I'm too frustrated to fix

fucking forgetfulness

I always fucking forget how shit a friend you are, you selfish asshole. Please, by all means lean on me when you need it... But heaven forbid I'm ever upset. No, I'm not fucking allowed to be cause my life is fucking tip top, hey ? Because once again, stupid ole me fucking forgot that you're the only one with problems. You're the only one with a shit life. But that's cool, cause Im just being a moody bitch, hey. It's not like I fucking work hard for anything I've gotten in my life. Nah, I never worked three jobs a time, I just got given everything. So don't fucking assume that my life is awesome when I sacrifice my whole fucking social life for five days of working and four says of university. I don't have the freedom that you do, and quite frankly I don't think I ever will. But sure, go out, get drunk and then condescend to me. I forgot how much I fucking LOVE that shit. Thanks for reminding me.... At least that's one thing I can thank you for. Having an awesome night crying myself to sleep and verbally abusing you in my mind. I'm selling popcorn if anyone wants front row seats to the movie premier of 'my shitty life' starring my all time favorite actor ' 'Go fuck yourself'. Over and out.

Consistent oblivion

Sonder: 

n. the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness- an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

-A-

Like machines do

Beautifully dark and twisted things